Tuesday, July 05, 2005

To Cooper

Cooper,

Today would be your Grandma Barb's 59th birthday. I thought I was done with the grieving and the crying, but it turns out I'm just getting started. I look at you sometimes and I can not believe that she has not held you, that she hasn't played with you, and that she is not here to spoil you. These are the images I have stuck in my mind, but I know that they are not real. Sometimes I just don't comprehend it. I still talk about her in the present tense as if she was here ("My mom likes that..." or "That's my mom's favorite...")

It all comes down to that I just can't explain who she was to you. It's an impossible task. I wish I could just touch you and you would know and feel everything I know and feel about her. I will try to tell you anyways.

She was amazing. She did it all. She expected the most from herself and she often got it. Even when I was a little kid, I knew she was something special. She got us kids up and made us breakfast, got us off to school, went to work, came home, made dinner, washed the clothes, and everything else. I thought I could never do all that and I was right (though I'll try harder from now on).

She fed the birds and the squirrels. She planted flowers for the bees. She did all of the little things that make the world a more beautiful place. She made a house into a home. She took an active interest in people. She was loved.

I put together a memorial photo montage together for her memorial. It was hard to find good pictures. She snapped most of the photos. She did it all. She was loved as much as she is missed.

I could say so much more, but I won't for now. Hopefully someday you'll read these words and ask me about her and hopefully my memory will not be faded enough that I talk in incomplete or run-on sentences.

Love,

Dad


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful. I lost my grandma and grandpa before they could see the twins. Maybe it's silly, but I have always believed that they both laid hands on them when they were born. I've found that memories don't fade...they simply become richer.