An Open Letter to Cooper

3/31/2005

Cooper,

I always thought that on the day that my first child was born that I would write down some worldly wisdom for him or her. With all that's happened in the last week, I haven't found the time to write. The events of the last few weeks have shaped my advice. I hope someday you'll read these words and understand.

1) Life is not fair. If it were we would not have buried Grandma Barb today. So many hearts would not be broken. She would be here today, tomorrow, and the next day. She would see you graduate from high school, college, and get married as her mother and father have seen me do. You will not know her love, but that does not mean she didn't love you. Her last words on this earth besides "pain" were "Mini Cooper". It's just the way life is. We don't get to choose how things go sometimes. You move on and overcome.

2) Find God and pray. You don't have to find God in the bible. You could read the bible all day and never find God. I'm not saying you shouldn't read the bible (or that you don't have to), but if you look around and if you're really observant there's no way you could possibly miss seeing God. I've seen the hand of God working many times in the past few weeks.

Just before you were born, the doctors rushed your mother to the operating room for an emergency c-section. Your heart rate had dropped to 50 beats per minute. I thought we might lose you. The doors opened to the OR and seven or eight doctors and nurses were running about. It looked like complete chaos. They all knew exactly what they were doing. Each of them had trained years for this exact kind of a moment. It took humans thousands of years studying the human body to develop the techniques necessary to bring you into this world. Even a hundred or two hundred years ago you may not have made it.

You were born. That is in itself a miracle. Two gametes meet to form a zygote. That cell splits into millions upon millions of cells. A brain develops, a heart develops, a human being is formed.

You brought so much joy with you at a time when we experienced a great sadness. I think God said "Marty, I have to take your mother now, but look here I'm giving you Cooper to help console you." I can look at my life and ask "What if I had never met your mother and what if I didn't have Cooper now? How would I be able to cope with this loss?" Thankfully these are questions I don't have to answer.

There were thousands of prayers said for Grandma Barb, some from people who had never even met her. Sadly those prayers were not answered, but make no mistake Cooper, that does not mean they were not heard. I discovered as I prayed, that I became stronger even as Grandma Barb became weaker. That is what Grandma Barb needed from me. That is what God needed from me.

I hope you understand what I've talked about here. Faith is such a difficult thing, because the answers we seek aren't always clear.

3) Have high expectations for yourself. We certainly have high expectations for you. My expectation is that you will be an All American starting outside linebacker on the 2025 NCAA Champion Ohio State Buckeyes with a 4.0 gpa in Pre-Med. On this there is no debate. Okay, so maybe this won't happen for you, but if you don't dream and shoot for the stars it will never happen.

Let me interject something here, don't listen to Mommy. She'll try to get you to be a Michigan Wolverine. Which would be very bad. You will be disowned. On this there is really no debate.

Almost anything in life that comes easy you will take for granted. You will treasure the things you worked the hardest to get. Try not to choose the path of least resistance.

4) You will make mistakes and fail. The trick is to learn from the mistakes other people have made, so you don't have to make the same mistakes. Sometimes your Mom and I will be there to help pick you up and sometimes we won't. You'll fall down, but the only true failure in life is when you fail to get back up.

A big mistake you could make would be becoming a Michigan Wolverine or one of their fans. I'm serious about this one. Don't do it.

5) Love. Laugh. Smile. Respect. Hope. Trust. If these words describe your life, you will have been a very successful person.

There's more advice I will give you over the years, but I think most of what I would say is encompassed in this letter. Remember, Ohio State good. Michigan bad.

Love,

Your Dad