Monday, June 27, 2005

Needed Baby Inventions

My boss came up with this idea the other day to write a book about needed inventions. We were just shooting the breeze at lunchtime. We brainstormed a few good ideas for babies/toddlers.

1. The Bottle Harness (tm) - It seems like everytime I'm bottle feeding Cooper, the phone rings, I have an itch that I have to scratch, I want to drink my beer, or I want to change the channel on the tube (and sometimes all of these at the same time). The solution is for the baby to wear this harness which would have an adjustable/moveable arm in the middle that would hold the bottle. You could then adjust the arm so the bottle goes into the baby's mouth, freeing one of your hands for other things. This would sell millions. Especially to new Dads.

2. A diaper that changes color based upon the level of change necessity. Micole can tell by touching the diaper if it needs to be changed. I try to tell the difference in feel, but I can't so I need a diaper that changes color. If it's #1 it turns green. If it's #2 it turns red. If it's a just a little bit of #1 it's only a mild green, but if it's a lot then it's a darker green, so you know that you really should change the diaper. It says on the diaper boxes that they can hold up to like 12-18 pounds, so you better be getting your money's worth.

3. The Slobber Guard (tm) - I imagine this to be like those lampshades dogs wear when they get neutered, but a little smaller and only in the front. So when the baby is dripping it all flows into the Slobber Guard (tm). There could also be a tube with a suction pump that moves the fluid into the diaper when there is an excessive amount of fluid. Plus you're getting your money's worth on the diaper.

4. A better bouncy chair - Cooper doesn't really care for his swing and his bouncy chair really only vibrates a little. What he does like though, is bouncing on Daddy's knee. Daddy is old and out of shape, so 10 minutes of this really tires Daddy. A chair that had this same motion would be great.

5. A noise cancellation device. Some high end automobiles have these to cancel out the engine noise for a smoother sounding ride. I think this concept could work for parents as well. Sometimes you just need a few minutes of peace. The phone rings and the little guy goes nuts. Press the noise cancellation device to block out the high pitch screams of your little one and you can still talk to your friend. My wife thought this one would be a little cruel for babies, but I think there would definitely be a big market for parents with teenagers.

I wonder if anyone else has some good invention ideas.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

careful about the color changing diaper. Us guys would loose our best excuse for not changing the diaper. "gee honey do you think it needs to be changed? I just can't tell".

mini me's momma said...

How about some more realistic sized baby clothes...or somehow ones that expand with unzipping or something of the sort...especially when your newborn is under 6 lbs but preemie sizes are only 5lbs but newborn is 7. Come on, why should a 5 month old still be able to fit into some 3mo sizes? I thought womens sizes were screwy....
More teethers that babies actually like! We bought out every size, color, texture teether we could find & none are likable by Mr Crabby Pants...except for parental fingers, bottle tops or his stuffed animal buddies....
How about this, not so much invention but request...baby stores let you "Try Out" floor models..of course kiddos would need to be placed in germfree space suits, but then you wouldn't buy cute little bouncy seats that sat collecting dust because someone didn't like using it...
More toys with rechargable batteries...maybe custom designed toys...
automatic signs that pop up to keep strangers away...like "My child is fine, he's crying because he's teething, I'm not abusing him..." or "Yes, he's a boy" or "Yes, she's a girl" "He/she is not too warm/cold/big/small/" etc...
and in that alternate universe...baby translators so you can figure out what they're trying so hard to say. Speaking of which....gotta go. Good luck!

RB said...

Found you through Erin. My little one is the same age is yours, but wow! Your little guy sits in a high chair! According to my mom they used to make a bottle harness before the world became paranoid and decided children need to live in glass bubbles.

www.rbelle.com