Thursday, March 31, 2005

Today's Pictures

I tried to get Cooper to tie my tie, but he's not up to the task yet.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


He's actually awake in this pic.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Today we said goodbye to Grandma Barb. Gone, but not forgotten.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

An Open Letter to Cooper

3/31/2005

Cooper,

I always thought that on the day that my first child was born that I would write down some worldly wisdom for him or her. With all that's happened in the last week, I haven't found the time to write. The events of the last few weeks have shaped my advice. I hope someday you'll read these words and understand.

1) Life is not fair. If it were we would not have buried Grandma Barb today. So many hearts would not be broken. She would be here today, tomorrow, and the next day. She would see you graduate from high school, college, and get married as her mother and father have seen me do. You will not know her love, but that does not mean she didn't love you. Her last words on this earth besides "pain" were "Mini Cooper". It's just the way life is. We don't get to choose how things go sometimes. You move on and overcome.

2) Find God and pray. You don't have to find God in the bible. You could read the bible all day and never find God. I'm not saying you shouldn't read the bible (or that you don't have to), but if you look around and if you're really observant there's no way you could possibly miss seeing God. I've seen the hand of God working many times in the past few weeks.

Just before you were born, the doctors rushed your mother to the operating room for an emergency c-section. Your heart rate had dropped to 50 beats per minute. I thought we might lose you. The doors opened to the OR and seven or eight doctors and nurses were running about. It looked like complete chaos. They all knew exactly what they were doing. Each of them had trained years for this exact kind of a moment. It took humans thousands of years studying the human body to develop the techniques necessary to bring you into this world. Even a hundred or two hundred years ago you may not have made it.

You were born. That is in itself a miracle. Two gametes meet to form a zygote. That cell splits into millions upon millions of cells. A brain develops, a heart develops, a human being is formed.

You brought so much joy with you at a time when we experienced a great sadness. I think God said "Marty, I have to take your mother now, but look here I'm giving you Cooper to help console you." I can look at my life and ask "What if I had never met your mother and what if I didn't have Cooper now? How would I be able to cope with this loss?" Thankfully these are questions I don't have to answer.

There were thousands of prayers said for Grandma Barb, some from people who had never even met her. Sadly those prayers were not answered, but make no mistake Cooper, that does not mean they were not heard. I discovered as I prayed, that I became stronger even as Grandma Barb became weaker. That is what Grandma Barb needed from me. That is what God needed from me.

I hope you understand what I've talked about here. Faith is such a difficult thing, because the answers we seek aren't always clear.

3) Have high expectations for yourself. We certainly have high expectations for you. My expectation is that you will be an All American starting outside linebacker on the 2025 NCAA Champion Ohio State Buckeyes with a 4.0 gpa in Pre-Med. On this there is no debate. Okay, so maybe this won't happen for you, but if you don't dream and shoot for the stars it will never happen.

Let me interject something here, don't listen to Mommy. She'll try to get you to be a Michigan Wolverine. Which would be very bad. You will be disowned. On this there is really no debate.

Almost anything in life that comes easy you will take for granted. You will treasure the things you worked the hardest to get. Try not to choose the path of least resistance.

4) You will make mistakes and fail. The trick is to learn from the mistakes other people have made, so you don't have to make the same mistakes. Sometimes your Mom and I will be there to help pick you up and sometimes we won't. You'll fall down, but the only true failure in life is when you fail to get back up.

A big mistake you could make would be becoming a Michigan Wolverine or one of their fans. I'm serious about this one. Don't do it.

5) Love. Laugh. Smile. Respect. Hope. Trust. If these words describe your life, you will have been a very successful person.

There's more advice I will give you over the years, but I think most of what I would say is encompassed in this letter. Remember, Ohio State good. Michigan bad.

Love,

Your Dad

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Just Relaxing

We're just relaxing this morning. I finished a slideshow of Grandma Barb's pictures for her visitation tonight. Micole's relieved because Cooper had his first bowel movement since Saturday (she wanted me to tell you all that).

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Today's Pics

Here's a roundup of the best pictures from today.

Another pic of Mommy and Cooper sleeping.

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

Cooper's first time in his swing was a smashing success.

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com


Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

I don't know if the dog knows what to think of Cooper, yet. I'm not sure if he thinks Cooper is competition, food, or a toy.

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

We got a home visit from a nurse today and she took some blood for Cooper's PKU test.

Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

Monday, March 28, 2005

Visitation and Funeral Information

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I know some of my mom's friends have visited this website. So I am including information for her visitation and funeral. The obituary from the Tufts Schildmeyer website below. The family would like to thank everyone for their prayers and kind words in this most difficult time.

Barbara Jean Johnson July 05, 1946 - March 26, 2005 Loveland, Ohio

Visitation:
Wednesday 6-8 PM March 30, 2005 at Tufts Schildmeyer Family Funeral Home, 129 N. Riverside Dr. Loveland, OH 45140 Funeral Service: 10:30 AM Thursday March 31, 2005 at Tufts Schildmeyer Family Funeral Home, 129 N. Riverside Dr. Loveland, OH 45140 Interment: , at Kirker Cemetery, Adams County Ohio

Barbara Jean of Loveland. Beloved wife of Thomas Allen Johnson (Married July 19, 1969), loving mother of Marty Allen (Micole) Johnson and Kelly Ann (Brian) Crooks, affectionate daughter of Dorothy Ellis (Vince) Golden and William C. (Dorothy) Wilmoth, dear sister of James (Joan) Drummond, Steve (Wilma) Shearer, Tim Shearer and the late Douglas Shearer, caring grandmother of Cooper Douglas Johnson, Best friend of Sharon Dozier and Nola Werner, also survived by a host of aunts, uncles cousins and friends.

She graduated from West Union Class of 63, went to OSU, retired from computer programming in 2001.

In lieu of flowers memorial donations may be directed to Hospice of Cincinnati c/o Bethesda Foundation Inc. P.O. Box 710784 Cincinnati. OH. 45271.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

1st Time Granddad's first time holding Grandbaby

My father met Cooper for the first time at the hospice, but with all that was going on he didn't get to hold him until this evening.

A Very Sad Day

Where do I start?

At 11:30 this morning, Grandma Barb lost her battle with esophageal cancer. Just yesterday my father had her moved from Jewish Hospital to a hospice center in Blue Ash. It has only been a little over 6 weeks since she was diagnosed. 6 weeks ago, besides looking a little paler than usual, she seemed like herself. Only a couple of weeks ago we were laughing at the kitchen table.

At about 9:30-10:00 this morning Micole and I were still at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Kentucky, when my sister called me to tell me that she didn't think Mom would make it through tonight. We cleaned up and packed as quickly as we could, but there was still some required paperwork and tests before we could leave with the baby.

I had just pulled onto the I-275 on ramp from Turkeyfoot when my sister called me to tell me that she had passed away. We wanted her to see her grandbaby before she passed away, but it was not meant to be. Micole wanted me to pull over, but I did everything I could to hold myself together and drive.

We got to the hospice center (which incidentally in a very ironic twist of fate is on Cooper Road) a little after noon. There was a lot of crying. I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry before and definitely not like that.

I feel it is truly a tragedy for Cooper. He will never know her voice. He will never know her touch. He will never know her love. The rest of us have been lucky.

In another twist, my mom took what she thought was a dark secret to her grave. She kept this secret because she somehow thought my sister and I might think less of her or love her less. I find it more sad that she felt she could not tell us. But I forgive her. I don't love her any less and I think no less of her. She still should have told us. She left me with more questions than answers. I won't tell you the secret she held from us, because there are too many voyeurs on the internet and no matter how gentle they are, I don't want to broadcast it to the whole world. If you ask me on the street I'll be happy to tell you.

We don't know until Monday when the funeral will be. She will have two services. One in Loveland and one in West Union where she will be buried next to her brother Doug (which is who Cooper's middle name comes from and I'm named after his middle name Martin). I never met Doug. He died the summer before I was born. So life repeats itself. One day we're fighting to bring Cooper kicking and screaming into the world and at the same time the world was taking Grandma Barb away from us.

Mommy and Cooper Resting in the Hospital

Here's a good picture I took of Micole and Cooper this morning.


Friday, March 25, 2005

Posting from the hospital

St. Elizabeth's does have WIFI access from Cincinnati Bell and since I'm a Zoomtown DSL subscriber, I get free access. I've posted some of our pictures to the website using Flickr and added the Flickr Daily Zeitgeist. I don't have a lot of pictures because I was exhausted after the baby was born and we mostly have video.

Morning after

Just home for a few minutes to clean up and get some clothes and then get back to the hospital. I slept a few hours but Micole did not, but she seems to be in pretty good shape. We should have photos up in the next 24-48 hours. I'm taking my laptop with me to the hospital, because I saw a sign that said they had internet access (hopefully wireless). Maybe I will be able to post some pictures from there.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

MOM

At the hospital with mom. Doing much better this evening.

One More Day

I'm back at work this morning.  I stopped into the hospital to see mom this morning.  She didn't sleep real well even with the sleeping medication they gave her.  She can't have any ice chips or fluids this morning, because she has an MRCP (similar to an MRI).   My dad has an appointment this evening, so I will be leaving work an hour or so early to sit with her.
 
6:30 tomorrow morning approaches.


Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

TEST

TESTING WIRELESS PHONE BLOGGING CAPABILITIES

Long days

Grandma Barb has been in the hospital for the last two days. She's very weak and not eating (except for jello). Micole and I spent about 4 hours yesterday and 6 hours today at the hospital with her. I took the entire day off from work today, because I was unable to sleep last night (partially because of mom being sick and partially because Micole snores like a moose).

The doctors seem to think that they can do some things for her that will help restore her energy and her ability to eat. She's resting better today, but at times she seems to have a bit of dementia; she seemed unaware that my sister was in the room (and not at home in Columbus) and she spoke sometimes about seemingly meaningless things ie "your sister found the towels in the kitchen".

On the good side of things she has had two earthbound angels hovering around her. Her friends Sharon and Nola have spent hours at her side giving her ice chips, jello, and comfort. Their support has lessened the burden on the family.

Mom woke today convinced that Micole had given birth to a boy. She asked my father to tell her about the baby boy, but he responded that the baby had not been born yet. She swears it's going to be a boy.

The clock keeps on ticking to 6:30 AM on Thursday morning for inducing labor. I don't think this baby can get here soon enough.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Another Video

I made Micole do another video. I'm having too much fun with this stuff.



Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

Just Got A Call

Micole just called me a few minutes ago after her doctor's appointment. The baby's head is up further than it was. He said don't expect it to happen tonight and start looking towards the induction on Thursday. Micole has to go take a stress test at 11 this morning to see if they should induce her sooner. I think it's a fiesty little boy who can't make up his mind.



Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

Monday Morning

This baby's grounded for at least a few years for making Mom and Dad wait.  Micole goes to the doctor this morning.  She had some cramping this morning (about 4 AM)  that she thought might be the start of active labor, but it stopped after 10 minutes.  The clock keeps on ticking closer to Thursday 6:30 AM for the induction.


Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Some video

I figured out how to do some video blogging. The video below is a montage of footage that I took on Monday. The purpose of the video was to create a video story book for the baby. It would be like here's your first house, here's you first puppy dog, here's mom, here's your room, here's grandma and grandpa's house, here's your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Brian, etc.

The software that makes the montage, randomly organizes the footage, but there is some good footage of Micole and the nursery. Though it seems like a lot of the video has literally gone to the dogs. The montage is also longer, but I guess the host (JussPress.com) I'm using only allows a couple of minutes per video. It's free though. I can't wait to do some baby video blogging. If the video box doesn't show up you can use the link below to view the video.

http://www.jusspress.com/day.php?userid=1761¤tDate=20050320&currentTime=145118

UPDATE 9PM: The link and video may not be working because the site may be experiencing problems. The website has not been responding.



Sharing made simple by JussPress.com

Waiting

No movement so far. At the very worst, it will be Thursday at 6:30 AM, because that is when the doctors will induce.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Saturday Morning 11 o'clock

Nothing new to report. We're just relaxing watching some TV as the rain taps away at the roof. Micole can't sleep very well anymore, but she is still her normal self, giggling and laughing, but tired.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Hmmm...

We may be seeing some movement in the baby situation. Micole called me and told me that she may have had a contraction today, but she wasn't sure because it didn't repeat. She also reported a lot of pressure and back pain. She had planned on going to play Bunko with her friends tonight, but she's coming home because of these developments. We'll just have to wait and see.

Ditto

Friday morning, posting via email again from work.  Still in a holding pattern.  Ditto.


Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Recap

I decided to do a recap of where things stand.
  1. 100% (well nearly as of Monday) effaced.
  2. 2 cm dialated (as of Monday).
  3. Membranes were stripped on Monday.
  4. The mucous plug came out Tuesday.
  5. Today is the due date.
  6. No Baby Johnson yet.

So what does all of this mean? I just hope it means Micole goes into labor tonight or tomorrow and not during the UC vs UK second round matchup in the NCAA tournament. At least they have a television in the delivery room.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Baby's First Pics (Well kind of...)

I found the ultrasound pictures today. The first two are from September and the last one is from December. I was expecting to be able to post some pictures of a newborn by now.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

We took another walk this evening, but overall there hasn't been anything new to report.

Wednesday morning

Just a quick post via email from work - yes, work.  Nothing new to report since last night.  The baby must be still be content with it's current accomodations.  I know Micole's getting a little frustrated, but hopefully we're talking hours and not days.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Update

Micole lost her mucous plug. Which we take as good news. Hopefully it's tonight!

I figured out how to run the marquee. Hopefully we'll soon have the new baby pics scrolling across.

Holding Pattern

Still waiting. Everyone told us that with her membranes being stripped that it would happen last night, but it didn't. My boss was surprised to see me this morning. I was definitely not expecting to be there this morning.

We're going to go for a good walk later. Maybe that'll help.

Just overheard Micole say, "I've enjoyed being pregant up until this point. Now I just want to get it over."

Monday, March 14, 2005

Standing by for liftoff

No labor yet. We did take a decent walk this evening in the hopes that it might get things going. So we'll see.

Here's the baby's cradle. Hopefully in about 4 days or so we'll have a picture of the baby in it. This was my cradle. Thirty one years ago today I would have been sleeping in this very same cradle. We brought it over from Pappy's and Grandma Barb's house tonight.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

3...2...1... Blast off!

Well it's almost time for Micole to go into labor. We really expect it to happen tonight. She saw the doctor today and she's nearly 100% thinned out and 2 cm dialated. The doctor also stripped the membranes, so the smart money is on tonight if not during the day today. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm going to try to get Micole to take a long walk this evening, because everyone seems to think that it helps. Of course it won't be much of a walk for me, because I'll have to do a lot of stopping and waiting for her to catch up.

We're both off early today. Grandma Barb was admitted to the hospital for observation this morning. We were going to go see her, but just after I left work my dad said they were going to release her after lunch. She had to have a blood transfusion and her blood counts are good again.

We're just getting everything packed up and ready this afternoon. If you see the audio posts on this site you'll know we're at or on our way to the hospital.

Micole says:

The one thing I won't miss about being pregnant is the damned heartburn.




Sunday, March 13, 2005

Four

Nothing new to report today. Micole still hasn't gone into labor. She's ready. She's willing. She's just not able, yet. So today is like most of the last few days. Let's just say "Ditto". The same pains and discomforts. The same results. The same old, same old. Ditto.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Five

It's been a quiet day. We straightened up the house. Grandma Stella came up to pick up the mattress and box spring that used to be in the nursery. The mattress had been standing up in our living room next to the couch for the last 4-5 weeks. I can actually see the kitchen from the living room. It is so nice. Thanks Grandma Stella! We really appreciate it.

Micole slept for a few hours while I went to Grandma Barb's house to see my grandmother and uncle. A friend of mine also dropped in to pick up a dvd. It's been a slow day. A movie here, a movie there. I wonder if it'll be the last slow day we have for a while.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Six

Micole's felt pretty good today. No nausea. She felt some more pressure today. She also had some back pain. Still waiting.

I've determined Micole will go into labor Wednesday evening. Why Wednesday? Because it's the least optimal day for me for taking days off from work. I want to take 5 days off when the baby gets here, but I'll do 6 if necessary. In addition, I don't want to come back to work for just 1 or 2 days to finish off the week either, so with Wednesday I get the least time off and if take 5 days off, I still have to come back for 2 days. If I take 6, I would be coming back to work just for Friday. So Wednesday stinks and since Wednesday stinks, that will be when she goes into labor.
Tomorrow for labor would be perfect, but I doubt it'll happen.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

One more week

Per my last post, I did get some cheese sticks but no boneless buffalo wings.

Micole is feeling a little nauseous this evening. She's been quite negative also. She thinks she's not going to have the baby until next week. I tell her to be positive. I keep whispering "go into labor" like a little subliminal message. I don't think it's working though. Plus I think she's hearing me, so the subliminal part isn't working.

Tonight after 10 pm would be the perfect time for her to go into labor. Survivor's on at eight. I'll watch the Apprentice at nine. After that my schedule's clear for a while. My luck she'll probably go into labor during the UC's game in the NCAA tournament.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Eight is almost enough

One more day and I'll be ready for the baby to come. Work is just so stressful. I can't wait to get out of there. I keep trying to get projects cleared off my desk, so I can leave for a week or so without having to worry about leaving stuff to do for my co-workers. I can't seem to get to that point. New projects keep popping up and they're all important. But when that baby comes, they're all just gonna have to wait.

I guess Micole's doing ok... It's after 9PM and she isn't home yet. She went out to Applebee's with her co-workers after work. I called her at 8:45 and she was still there. 9 months pregnant and teacher's out on a school night! If she can't sleep tonight and if she doesn't feel well in the morning, then she's not going to get any sympathy from me. I'm really mad at her. She was supposed to bring me some cheesesticks and some boneless buffalo wings! If she does bring them home, I guess they will make a good lunch for tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Single Digits

Not much new to report. Micole had some cramping today for a little while. She's in really good spirits. She's on the phone right now with a friend and she's giggling away as per the usual. Micole said today that toughest part is in the not knowing when she'll go into labor and in not having any control of when to go into labor. You go when you go. It could be anytime.

Grandma Barb had her second chemo session today. She is also in good spirits. So far it seems that she feels really good on the days when she has chemo. If it holds the course like last week she will feel sick on Thursday.

Monday, March 07, 2005

10 Days

Micole went to the doctor this morning. She's started to progress. Her cervix has thinned 80% and she is 1/2 cm dialated. The doctor says this means she could go into labor anytime...in the next two weeks. This Thursday through next Monday would be fine with me.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

The nursery is finished. Well, almost.

Here's a picture of the nursery finished with the farm animal border. We'll post a few more pics of the nursery later. The only thing left is to have the furniture moved in, but our order won't be ready until April.


UPDATE: Just got back from dinner and have the new pictures ready. This picture gives a little more view of the room.




After we were done with the border, we put together the stroller and the baby swing.


Saturday, March 05, 2005

The Dirty Dozen

We cleaned up our living room and made room for a lot of boxes in the garage. We still have some work to do, but it is official; our house is no longer a disaster area.

Here's a picture of part of the living room last week. Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Here's another. I don't think this picture captures half of how messy everything was (and we may have added some more stuff to the pile after we took these pictures).
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Here's today.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Tomorrow we will be putting the border on the nursery walls. We would have done it today, but Micole realized we only had one roll and we would need two more rolls.

Here's the nursery as it stands today. We don't get our crib or changing table until April because the factory is behind schedule. I'll post some more pictures tomorrow when we get the border done. The picture looks messier than it is. It's really kind of cosy.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Thursday, March 03, 2005

A fortnight to go

Not much to report today. Micole's felt some more cramping. She has some pains in her right side which she attributes to her ligaments and skin stretching.

The pictures below are of a cute flower vase given to Micole by my mother at the baby shower. It was given to my mother by her mother at the hospital when I was born. She was going to give it to Micole at the hospital after the baby is born. She didn't know if she would be going somewhere else for a clinical trial, so she gave it to her at the shower. When the time comes, we'll happily pass it along when our first grandchild is born.








Wednesday, March 02, 2005

15 Days

Micole had another intense pain today. This time it didn't occur while walking. Micole can't go into labor soon enough. The sooner the better is how she feels. I would still prefer it doesn't happen for another week or so.



We had a little road rage incident today. A woman came out of nowhere to cut us off on the highway and then gave us the finger. Of course I didn't stand for that, which led to many exchanges of fingers between us and said driver. It's one thing to cut us off, but to give us the finger when it was her fault, just really got me going.

We eventually sped up and got away from the woman. About 10 minutes later she pulls up along side us and shows us that she has a phone. Like she's going to call the police or something. So then we pulled out our phones and showed them to her. I don't know know what this woman was thinking. Maybe she didn't take her Paxil or Zoloft today. I had calmed down by this point so I just let it drop. All in all I feel a little embarassed about my behavior, but in a way it was a little fun. Pretty stupid, but fun.

Anyways a little excitement didn't force Micole into labor, so I'm sure it's going to go closer to full term.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Anyone want 25 bucks?

I have a referral offer for anyone who is interested. To get $25 all you have to do is open an internet savings account with ING Direct via a referral email. You only need $1 to open an account. ING also pays an above market interest rate on savings accounts, currently 2.60%. My bank, which is also my employer, only pays a measly .15% on savings amounts less than $1,000 (and not much more than that on amounts over $1,000).

This offer is completely legitimate. I've referred this offer to several people in the past without any problem. Once you've opened an account, you can refer up to 25 people who will each get $25 for opening an account; you will also get $10 for each person who opens an account. The referral form requires a first name, last name, and your email address. If you're interested in this offer email me at mcandou2004@yahoo.com. Currently I have 20 referrals left.

If you're interested in a better savings interest rate than ING Direct check out http://www.emigrant-direct.com/. They pay 3.0% for savings accounts. They do not, however, have a referral bonus.

Still counting down (16)

Well, it was just a 24 hour bug. Micole is feeling fine today. No onset of labor. Today she felt some "intense pressure" in her pelvic region. She could stand without a problem, but walking was quite painful. This may be a sign that the baby is starting to drop.



The baby is staying active. Micole told me this morning that "one time last night it felt like the baby ran from one side of my stomach to the other."



Grandma Barb started chemo today. No ill effects, yet. She's feeling very well and actually ate lunch at O'Charley's afterwards.



Tomorrow is my 31st birthday. Right now it doesn't look like I'll be sharing it with a newborn.