A Year

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It's been a year. It's been a strange year. I feel as if I've lived two years in the last year, a happy one and a sad one. In that year I became a parent and lost a parent all within 39 hours. 38 hours and 51 minutes to be exact. They were just two souls passing by each other. Doesn't seem possible.

We went to the cemetary today. Looking at her tombstone like that only made the loss seem so much greater. I fought back tears. I'm tired of crying. We didn't stay long, but a few sprinkles fell down. I imagine these were tears from heaven. How fitting.

I've never known such heartache and tragedy. My life has been charmed in that way, at least until that day. If I were to face facts, I might have to admit that this is as good as it gets. I'm probaby at a point where I'll always be a little haunted by the way things went down, but I'll also find just enough strength to keep moving on. I'll find the strength because I must and because the mother I lost taught me to find strength in myself.

So often I am reminded of the bond between a mother and a child. Cooper is a Mama's boy for sure. Sometimes I am an acceptable substitute. Sometimes I'm not. Those times he only wants his Mommy and no one else. I can certainly relate. That bond doesn't break.